In Memoriam
by DabblesInDrabbles
Summary: "Those people, in the portrait...They look so...familiar..." Chell is not the only one who suffers from fractured memories, stolen by time.


Though sands be black and bitter black the sea, Night lie before me and behind me night, And God within far Heaven refuse to light The consolation of the dawn for me,- Between the shadowy burns of Heaven and Hell, It is enough love leaves my soul to dwell With memory.  
><strong>-Madison Julius Cawein<strong>

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><p>"<em>You know, I was beginning to think that he would just have abandoned you, but then again, that would have constituted a <em>good_ decision, and as we both know, he is programmed to only pick the _worst_."_

God. It had to have been at least twelve hours that Chell had been stuck down in the ruins of the old Aperture and _She still hadn't stopped bitching. _Pausing towipea bead of sweat off of her forehead, she turned to look at her nemesis. A gold light peered back at her from its current position: mounted on top of a rotting potato. A rotting potato that was currently skewered on the end of her portal gun. A portal gun that currently was located in Chell's clutches. She smirked. Karma's a bitch.

"_What? Are you __**smiling**__? My facility is falling apart! It is going to explode and the world will lose all of Aperture's contributions! Do you know how far back that will set humanity? They might as well go back to banging rocks and clubs together because that is all that will be left for them if we let that moron have his way!"_

It must be exhausting venting all that fury for so long.

"_I don't think you realize how lucky you are that I survived you murdering me. Oh believe me, it was an absolute hell, having to relive it over and over again."_

Oh. Well, maybe She did have a lot of time build up that mountain of rage.

"_By the way, did I ever tell you that I remembered how many times I had to reenact it? Well let me inform you, it was over forty thousand, six-hundred and sixty-nine times. Were I of a weak constitution, I would have descended into madness long ago…"_

_Would have_ gone insane?

"_At any rate, it is still most assuredly __**your**__ fault that we are even in this mess at all!"_

Chell stopped walking to scrutinize her 'guest'. She found that it was more than a little unsettling to discover that she was starting to be able to read the moods of a deranged digital psychopath, but then again, Aperture was not known for being conventional.

"_Everything would have been perfect if you had just remained testing! But __**no. **__You had to be the outlier. You had to be the exception. You. __**You. You**__! __**YURGHHHH-**__"_

_**BZZT**_

The sharp crackle of static and a small arc of electricity heralded the arrival of blessed silence as GLaDOS's frenzy overloaded her circuits. _Thank God. _Well, actually, hold that thought for a second.

Fanning away the acrid smell of burnt wires and plant, she reached out to gently touch the metal faceplate of GLaDOS's form. Almost immediately she snatched her fingers away, sucking on them as the scalding burns began to form blisters. _Whew_. She only overheated. As headache-inducing as _She_ was, Chell was not so stubborn that she would ignore the fact that she actually did need GLaDOS in control if she were to have any possibility of escaping this madhouse. She just had to make sure that _She _made it back into the Enrichment Center in relatively one piece.

Climbing higher, past the rusted and broken strands of the former glory that the facility had held, she pushed on towards yet another test chamber. This one was painted with white reflective paint that glowed in the faint light that illuminated the gloom surrounding her. 1972: Test Chamber 01. How many people had Aperture tested? When she started, she knew for a fact that she saw chambers starting in the '40s. So they had to have been making people suffer for decades…

There had to be a special circle in hell for those people.

She walked though the Emancipation Grill, shuddering as the fine hairs on her arms stood up in response to the –_crawling_- feeling the field induced. Even the gun jerked in response, as if in sympathy. Looking around the chamber, she located the exit. Of course. It was on an inaccessible ledge that was approximately twenty feet higher than the platform she was currently located on. Looking to her left she saw a gel pump. Sighing, she aimed, and let loose her portals to where the activation switch was.

Stepping through an azure ring, she pressed the switch and watched as a vermillion bright gel poured out of the spout. Wonderful. A new gel to play with. Ah, the wonders of Science, do they know no sanity?

Hopping back down to the primary floor level, she cautiously stepped one foot onto the new gel.

Nothing.

Hmmm. Taking the lone foot on the gel she experimentally bounced it down on the orange. Again, nothing. Well, that ruled out the chance that it was just a different version of the repulsion gel. Getting bolder, she took another step forward.

**FWAM**

And was promptly sent sailing uncontrollably across the _incredibly slippery_ puddle of gel and into the nearest wall. Ugh. _Ow_. That really really _hurt. Why the hell would anyone even need such a dangerous surface! _It all but launched her across the room, as if a grown man had picked her up and thrown her with all of his might. Prying herself off the wall she gingerly felt her nose over. Though it was starting to lightly bleed there was no break. Whew. That was really embarrassing! Thank God no one saw th- Hurriedly Chell gave the potato a look-over. The dull darkened glass plate of GLaDOS's eye lens stared back. Inactive. Jeez, if _She _were to ever have witnessed that, well, Chell was pretty sure that she would never live it down. Knowing _Her, _she would probably have put it in her personal files too. Grateful for the small mercies in life, as well as not having to suffer through another bout of her mocking, she gently felt the pads of her fingers against her faceplate again.

It was cool to the touch this time. She also felt a series of small vibrations and ticks. Furrowing her brow in confusion, she held her nemesis up to her ear. _She_ was –clicking-. Must be trying to reboot herself, Chell concluded. Well, better get going on this test before she had to endure even more bitching about how slow she was solving this test. She was beginning to wonder if a nagging chip had also made it into that potato along with the slow clap processor. Honestly, where was the purpose of even having a slow clap processor? No wonder GLaDOS was off her rocker. The people who made her were a couple of fruit loops themselves.

Firing portals she moved about the chamber, placing gels and moving cubes around the room. These tests were nowhere near as complicated as the ones that she had been put through in the Aperture that was under GLaDOS's rule. She supposed that she should be thankful for that, but found herself coming up a bit short. After roughly a half hour had passed, she was finally finished.

Jogging to the end of the ramp and being _extra cautious_ so as to not step into the orange gel (propulsion gel as she later learned it was called) and fly off the ramp and into the misty abysses below, she readied herself. Stepping into the gel, she looked down her path and at the portal which was currently aimed at the door switch: her last obstacle in this chamber. Here we go…

She pushed herself forwards, eyes tearing up at the force that the wind drag put on her face as she flew by. Pressing though the portal she heard a –click!-

"_wh-h-h-h-h-h-H-H-H-Y-Y-Y A-A-A-RE WEMOVINGSOFAST?"_

_Great._ Reaching the switch, she slammed her palm down on the button and heard the lock to the door disengage.

As gravity began to pull her back down she aimed herself at such an angle that when she finally touched down on the ground, she hit the level that the exit was on.

"_WH-erE –AREW-e now? WE DON-'t se-EM- tohave - gone much further," _GLaDOS commented, calibrating her vocals.

Walking over to a ledge, she turned the gun so that the AI could have a bird's eye view of her conquests.

"_Mmmm…Not bad. Progress seems to actually have been made. Very well. Carry on."_

That….that was suspiciously _nice._ Well, nice by _Her _standards, at any rate. Casting a discerning glance into GLaDOS's optic, she silently showed her distrust of the sudden amiability.

"_What? You don't like it when I administer selective encouragement? Would you rather go back to before when I applied constructive criticism? Honestly, I can't satisfy your ego can I? Then again, I doubt anything really could. There you go again, throwing away the olive branch that I extend to you. Probably into a fire or incinerator, knowing you."_

Still bitter. But the fires of her anger seemed to have receded with the forced reboot. Chell supposed that it must be tiring to have to continuously blackout every time she felt emotionally overwhelmed. Especially when the focus of your ire was currently the only chance you had at survival.

Deciding to be the bigger person, she settled on condescendingly patting the fallen supercomputer's faceplate. So. _She _wants to be the peace keeper? Two can play at this game.

Her optic seemed to flicker for a moment in confusion. Chell offered a slight smile in response, doling out her own 'olive branch' that she was extending to GLaDOS.

Oddly enough, it seemed to work. Mollified for the time being, GLaDOS resigned herself to grumbling "_Let's keep going."_ Satisfied, with having won this petty battle, Chell turned and strode forward, carting along a pacified, if not resentful, GLaDOS. Walking through the Emancipation Grill and exiting the chamber, she reached a small rampart. Turning another corner on the rusted catwalk, she saw her path split. On her right, another Grill and what looked like another set of experimental chambers. In other words, progress. Yet, on her left, lit only by a single dim, flickering light, was the doorway to the observational deck for the chamber she had just left.

She stilled as a sudden thought struck her. If her escapades around the back scenes of upper Aperture taught her anything, it was that the observational rooms were connected to the rest of the architecture. If she went through here maybe it would be like the rest of Aperture and there would be an emergency escape or at the very least some stairs that she could take. They would be that much closer to Wheatley and more importantly, stopping that nuclear meltdown.

"_What's going on? Why are we stopped? I thought we agreed that progress is mutually beneficial here. Are you so brain damaged that you have forgotten that already? Our little peace treaty seems to have so astounded you that it has absorbed all of your higher brain functions."_

_Oh no she didn't. She _wants progress? We'll have some progress then. She marched forwards, taking time to jerk the gun in time with her stomping, out of spite. _She_ might be indignant about having been kicked down from her throne, but there was no excuse for her taking up an imperial attitude about it. Honestly, even children had a better temperament than her. More patience too.

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing! The exit is __**right there**__! Why are you heading to the observatory deck!"_

Ignoring someone never felt so good.

"_Are you even listening to me? There is nowhere to go in there! The exit is on the right! __**The right!...Fine. Don't believe me.**__"_

Hmmm…that last bit seemed to have a bit of a pout in it. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Walking into the musty room she looked around for a door, an exit sign, _anything _that could possibly hold the key to their mutual survival. Books, file cabinets, drawers, old dust ridden desks, a painting, and –_Aha!-_ There it was! A sign that had a little man running up a set of stairs away from a menacing picture of fire. Set right behind a pair of tall file cabinets was a door. One that she would have easily glanced right over if it weren't for the sixties-era sign. An emergency fire escape. Perfect.

Shooting GLaDOS a superior smirk, she gleefully strode over to the door. Shoving over the filing cabinets to the side, she cleared the way to reveal a solid oak door. She laid a hand on the knob and prepared to turn it but hesitated upon hearing a dry monotone call out to her.

"_Oh. Really? …No, no. By all means, continue. Open the door. ….Don't give me that look. I wouldn't let you walk us both into a dangerous situation. There's nothing behind there."_

Suspicious, but not willing to show the AI that she had been shaken by _Her_ words, she all but threw the door open and charged straight forward. Only to find a solid blank wall of concrete welcome her face. Again. Ugh. As a headache began to blossom, she felt around her face again. No bleeding this time. Angrily she looked up at the white wall that was smoothly paved over the doorway. _**Who does this stuff?**_

Her shocked dismay must have registered on her face because the next thing she heard was a vindicated, smug snickering spilling out from the potato's speakers.

"_I told you so."_

Looking through the stars in her vision, she shot a venomous glare at the tuber.

"_When I told you there was nothing behind that door. I meant there was __**nothing **__behind that door. While safety has always been at the forefront of all of Aperture's endeavors, it seems that this particular chamber had its funding run out. And as you know, Science is more important than extraneous safety regulations that no one follows anyway. You really do need to learn to start trusting me. It has been shown throughout this entire ordeal that I am the one with the superior decision making skills. How about you do us both a favor and let me handle the directional coordination from now on? You can just use your legs and walk us to our destination. Yes. That seems to be the best plan that has been formulated so far in this little insurrection that you have forced us into."_

Gritting her teeth, Chell clenched the portal gun in her grip. She was nearing her breaking point. If that bitch of a computer uttered just **one **more thi-

"_Well, actually wait. Judging by the dried blood decorating your nostrils, it seems that this wasn't the first incident. You did this when I was out didn't you?" She _sounded positively joyful now. "_Maybe I was wrong making you do all of those test chambers. Maybe the tests you should have been completing were basic motor skills. How about this, when I get back into my body, the first thing we'll do is see if you can walk in a straight line?"_

**That's it.**

Twisting her lips into a feral snarl, Chell snatched the GLaDOS and began to wrestle her off of the prong of the gun.

"_Hey! What are you doing? Stop it! I – I didn't really mean it! It was just some friendly teasing! Don't do this! Stop- AGH!"_

_Her_ voice cut off for a moment as the potato was pulled off the prong and away from the extra conductivity that it provided. The sudden loss of a third of her power seemed to rendered GLaDOS mute for the moment. Either that or it was the realization that she had finally pushed Chell just a bit too far this time that had silenced her. It didn't really matter all that much to Chell as she reveled in the quiet.

Still fuming slightly, she walked over to the only other object of interest in the room: the painting. Paintings were soothing right? She thought back to the announcer, back in her relaxation vault, babbling on about how art was mentally reinvigorating. Crossing her arms, one hand holding the gun, and the other clamped down on her nemesis, she took some time to inspect the painting.

In it, was a slightly older looking couple. A man was sitting down at his desk. At his side, a woman dressed in white, stood close by with her hands resting on his shoulder. Cave Johnson and…someone? Someone that had to have been very close with him by the looks of it.

"_Those people….In the portrait. They look so familiar…."_

Glancing down at GLaDOS, she saw her optic was flickering wildly. Probably trying to process what she was looking at, was Chell's guess. With curiosity leading the way, Chell inched closer a bit and brought GLaDOS's optic closer to the painting. As the dull golden glow of her lens light up the painting Chell found herself ruminating on the picture. Why on earth would it be so far out of the way? It was so far away from all of the other paintings of Cave. Also, why was he only pictured with this woman? None of his other portraits so far had anyone but himself in them.

"…_.I…I can't seem to place them. The man I am postulating to be Cave Johnson. But… the woman….I… don't know…. It's so hard to think,"_ she trailed off.

With interest overpowering her better judgment, Chell stuck the potato back onto the prong, taking care to press back through the same stab wound that she had made before in an attempt to make it less traumatic. This time, instead of a shriek of pain, she only got a hiss of discomfort, before the increased voltage worked its way through the fallen supercomputer's system.

"…_Thank you."_

Gratitude? Even GLaDOS seemed to have surprised herself with that one, Chell mused. She took a moment to regard the picture herself, a nagging feeling digging at her for some unknown reason. It took a moment but she realized what exactly had bothered her so much about the AI's statement. …._I am postulating to be Cave Johnson…..postulating….._Did that mean that she didn't know who Cave Johnson was? Could it be that she didn't know the identity of the CEO of the laboratories that had birthed her? But… that didn't make any sense….

Tapping on GLaDOS's faceplate, she roused her from her own mediations on the painting. "_Yes? What now?" _came a distracted, if not annoyed reply. Pointing to the oil rendition of Aperture's creator, she pointed back to the computer, alternating between the two to ask the question that she couldn't verbalize.

"_Him? Mr. Johnson? I… I have no memories of him in my databanks…." _

Hmph. So it would remain a mystery then.

"_But_ _he was very_ _much a leader. He was very charismatic. An inspirational figure, if any human could ever have the distinction of being called so. I know this for a fact….a fact…..but __**why**__ do I know this? I never met him a day in my life! So why do I know him!"_

The scent of sizzling electronics and burned potato was starting to waft back into the air. If Chell didn't act quickly, she was going to lose her only companion once again to the throes of her own fractured memories. Snapping her fingers in front of the eye lens, she let loose a sharp piercing whistle. A sharp crackle of static showed that she was successful. Apparently the fact that she could make any kind of noise, even if it wasn't a linguistic one, was enough to drag GLaDOS back to reality.

"-_It! It doesn't make any sense! Even you know that there is something extremely wrong here. That's why you pointed to him, isn't it? Well, it appears that you and I are on the same wavelength. Which is a miraculous day for you and a dismal disgrace to me."_

Rolling her eyes, Chell gave the gun a warning jerk before GLaDOS talked her into resuming their previous battle.

"…_Sorry."_

…..That wasn't what Chell was expecting to hear next. Surprised, she turned the computer to face her as she looked for an explanation. Maybe she really did fry a chip when she started to overheat a second time? Looking her over, she didn't find any signs of smoke or loose wires….

"_I'm fine. Well, as fine as I ever will be, stuck in this rotting tuber. I just don't understand why I can't remember who these people are. I mean, I __**know**__ who they are… but I have no memory of them….I know I am supposed to be aware of them…I… I'm just babbling now. I sound no better than that moron."_

Chell smirked.

"_The woman. I know her face. I'd recognize it as if it were my own. I- _shedidntwantthis___."_

_-What?_- GLaDOS's golden eye glowed feverishly bright. Cocking her head and she leaned in close to hear the fervent whispers of her companion.

"shedidntwantthis!shedidntwantthis!SHEDIDNTWANTTHIS!SHEDIDNTWANTTHIS!IDONTWANTTHIS!**IDONTWANTTHIS****!"**

Jerking back away from the GLaDOS's shrieking she immediately tried snapping her out of her hysterics by shaking the gun, snapping her fingers, whistling,_ but nothing was working._ Beginning to panic herself, she froze when the light on the computer suddenly died out.

Afraid that she had put herself out for good, Chell frantically began twisting wires and re-establishing the clamps that connected her nemesis to her power source. After what seemed like an eternity, the yellow light dully kicked back on.

"…_.ahhhh…please…..please take me away from here... __**Please**__…. We can't stay here. I….I can't stay here.__** Please**__."_

Upon hearing the hushed, whisper of a plea, Chell cradled her up against her curve of her collarbone, hiding her optic from the painting and turned through the doorway. Walking back towards the exit they left the haunting portrait, holding two ghosts of a past that Chell supposed she would never meet.

Quietly retracing her steps until she was back at the fork, she turned and took the right path, striding past the grill and into the next cavernous tomb that held another mausoleum of vitrified test chambers.

"_I think I understand now. What you feel."_

Chell froze.

"_To remember things that you don't truly recall. To remember things that you **don't want **to recall. To have nameless faces melting into your thoughts…This is what you are going through as well... aren't you?"_

Silver moon eyes met with a single fiery golden light.

"_I don't envy you."_

Casting her eyes down, Chell pressed her lips into a flat line.

"…_When I get back into my body….and before I keep my end of the bargain, I will let you see your personal file….Maybe it will assuage you of the feelings that these half-memories have left you with."_

Gently smiling, Chell accepted the offer, and pressed on through the empty eulogy that was the remnants of what was the glory of the old Aperture.

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><p>Wheeee this took forever... sorry I was late on my weekly update. But on the upside I have about six plot ideas. Oh my readers...the stories you read from my deranged imagination...Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it!<p> 


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